Sword Art Online 23-24: The “Epic” Finale

Finally, Sword Art Online is nearing its close. I know there’s episode 25, but I’ll bet that it’s nothing more than an “all is well” ending with that melancholic and dialogue and shit. I’m going to write the final review after episode 25, but I guess everyone knows how’s it’s gonna be. For now, let’s just focus on Kirito’s final attempt to rescue his wife.

First things first, the animators deliberately left out Jotunheimr. Although its basically a side story, the secret dungeon of Jotunheimr is epic and it’s a shortcut to the World Tree. It also has the grand quest for Excalibur, the strongest sword in the game, which Kirito easily obtained through a GM command. For those of you w         ho don’t know what Jotunheimr is, go read the novels. I mean it. Read at least a volume or two, and you’ll see that the anime is crap.

Episode 23 features some major highlights: Suguha’s confession aftermath and the Tree Raid. Followed by Episode 24: the horrendously perfect NTR scene and the showdown between Oberon and Kirito. The fans service amount here is a tad high (yep, Asuna, I’m looking at you) and there’s a certain ambiguous scene involving Yui (it’s been posted on image boards and Facebook).

On to Suguha, the beloved busty imouto!

Suguha is curled up in a fetal position because her own brother rejected her. But she made a promise to help Kirito, so she logged in. She then challenged Kirito to a duel. Cool! Yeah, for the first five seconds. Suguha and Kirito end up in an embrace mid-air and they start spinning together and telling each other how they feel. Boring!

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Yay, brother and sister finally cross swords!
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Dafuq… Y U NO keep slashing??

On to the raid, which is the only action-packed 30 seconds of Episode 23.

Kirito, Lyfa, and Recon start the raid on the Tree. Yeah, 3 people hoping to overcome billions of overpowered mobs. It’s a miracle they held out for 10 seconds. Lyfa and Recon act as support, but (MMO players should know) the mobs start to target them. Of course, Kirito’s an AGI tank. He has no “provoke” skills, and Lyfa’s healing. Recon, trying to impress Suguha for the last time, decides to blow himself up to clear a path. Rest in peace, brother. But, that was no use, the mobs keep on coming! Just when everything looked bleak, BAM! There comes the cavalry! A platoon of Cait Sith dragoons and Slyph knights, led by the two leaders whom Kirito gave a buttload of cash to. This is it. Time to reach the top. Lyfa tosses her sword and the dual-wielder makes a comeback. Kirito pierces through the mobs in a flashy drill-like animation and reaches the top.

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General Kirito, the cavalry’s here!
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But crap, the door won’t open! Yui suggests that Kirito uses the Admin Access card and… it opened! On to Episode 24!

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Time to save your mother, Yui!
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Before we save Asuna, let me bang you first, Yui.
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We finally meet… wait, you banged our daughter??!

Now’s the juicy part and the one we’ve all been waiting for… Asuna’s rescue! But, the guys at the studio have something else in mind: let’s add some NTR for added impact. And there you have it, the horrendously perfect NTR scene. Asuna is chained, half-naked, with Sugou licking her all over while Kirito lies on the ground with a giant sword plunged through him watching every second. Just a bit more, and we could’ve seen Sugou rape Asuna. Then, the deus ex machina kicks in. Kirito uses the ultimate ID against Sugou: Heathcliff’s ID. They face off, Kirito grants Sugou the Excalibur. Since Sugou’s a prick who can’t even swing a sword, he gets mutilated and it ends with an orgasmic show of virtual blood showering the screen.

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GM Command: Summon chains and lock Asuna!
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Yeah, sniffing hair. Great foreplay.
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Yeaaaaa, Asuna’s half-naked and lolwut, those are 85 sized boobs man!

We now move on to the ending. Asuna and Kirito hug, they say a bunch of melancholic and cliche crap, and Asuna is logged out. Kirito meets with the virtual remains of Kayaba Akihiko. Kayaba gives Kirito “The Seed”, which is basically a VRMMO Software Development Kit. Kirito logs out, and Suguha’s waiting for him. He shoves Suguha and rides on his bike, to finally meet the awakened Asuna.

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Virtual blood and limb dismemberment… f*** yeah!
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I now pronounce you… DELETED!

I could say that these two climax episodes were… somewhat okay. I just loved the badass Kirito, mutilating Sugou like that, and the cavalry call in Episode 23. Those dragoons were awesome! Anyhow, the final review’s coming up next week, so I’ll save my comments for then. Hope you all enjoyed watching Sword Art Online! I enjoyed it here and there, but it mostly sucked.


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