SAO Extra Edition: It Failed Me… AGAIN.

Oooh, cool logo.

Happy New Year everyone! The first anime to be reviewed this year is the long-awaited SAO Extra Edition. The series has been mediocre and I would’ve thought the Extra Edition would have been a saving grace. SAO has failed me once again.

Summary

We’re back in ALO and Kirito’s artificial daughter, Yui, wants to see a whale in Alfheim. Wait, so we have a plethora of monsters in Alfheim but not a whale? Fuck you, illegal whaling. Anyway, the usual party of Kirito’s bitches (Scilica, Lyfa, Asuna, and Lizbet) venture into a water dungeon. It turns out Lyfa can’t swim. Of course she can’t, her boobs won’t float. If a person can’t swim in a VRMMO, what do you have to do? That’s right, log out and learn how to swim. And where do you learn how to swim? A public pool. And in anime, any scene involved with swimming or water or a pool means? FANS SERVICE HO!

That’s the only special part of the episode. For almost 2 hours, the first 1 hour 20 minutes was just a recap of what we have watched months ago. The extra 20 minutes was the only reason this episode was aired. If you’ve read the novels, you’ll realize that the scenes near the end lead up to only one confirmed conclusion: they’re doing Gun Gale Online as a Season 3 (I refuse to follow mainstream custom and insist that ALO is Season 2). And that’s pretty much everything to it.

The Good Stuff

Good stuff… it depends on what you define as “good”. For me, the good stuff was… I got to see my favorite character, Scilica, again. She’s the only reason I continue to watch the crap that is Sword Art Online. The music score was good, Yuki Kajiura always does her best. Graphics, astounding as always, especially the landscapes and monsters.

What Sucked

Hohoho, I’ll elaborate:

1. Considering how lousy the series was, the Extra Edition could have been a saving grace. Nope, not gonna happen with SAO. The Extra Edition COULD have been about ALO’s secret dungeon, Jotunheimr. It COULD have been about the crossover between SAO and Accel World. But no! It’s just like Shingeki no Kyojin episode 13.5: a useless flashback of events. There wasn’t even an epic boss fight like episode 2! Instead, they gave us some mushy cosuin-cest love (not that I’m against it), bikin girls, and a useless flashback for 1.5 hours But still, they could’ve tried something better.

Holy shit, when did Suguha get implants?

2. Don’t let me get started on the fans service. Did Suguha get breast implants over the holidays? I swear here boobs just got bigger. For every pervert out there, there’s Scilica who has an inferiority complex about the size of her chest when compared to others. Don’t cry, Scilica, I’ll be your Kirito if he doesn’t even recognize you. Whoops got a bit carried away. And there’s the famous Asuna, claimed by millions of otaku everywhere as a waifu, in her glorious bikini. And don’t forget the yuri groping.

Asuna, beloved by many creepy otaku.
Asuna, loved by many creepy otaku.
Mandatory groping. And Scilica's inferiority complex.
Mandatory groping. And Scilica’s inferiority complex.

3. The bitches are reduced from brave MMO warriors to little girls who can’t move on from an antisocial nerd. More wish-fulfillment detected.

Watch it? 

If you like semi-nude 2D girls with varying breast sizes frolicking around in a pool of water, watch it. If you like shallow action, watch it. If you’ve watched the SAO series and insist it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to anime, watch it. If you don’t like Twilight, but want to see an anime version of it, watch this. If you’re a disappointed SAO fan, watch it so you’ll have something to argue about on the Internet. If you don’t want to waste 2 hours of your life on this bullshit, don’t watch it and do something else with your time.

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