Ahotaku’s Weekly Rants and Review – Episode 2

Happy Easter, everyone!

I’m not a Christian, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to congratulate my Christian brothers and sisters on the Jesus is risen. I’m not part of a shallow-minded, bigoted group of uneducated freaks struggling to outlaw expressing religious celebratory remarks and forcing everyone to tolerate their rage.

By the way, the Pope denounced “immense wastefulness” in his speech on Easter Day. I gotta hand it to you, I kinda like Pope Francis’ humbleness.

Field trip ends at the bottom of the sea

A South Korean ferry, the Sewol, sunk earlier this week. May the souls of the deceased reach Nirvana and reincarnate into better beings. For the survivors, you have lived through a terrible ordeal and lost those precious to you. You are brave survivors. Just take a look at these texts from the victims and their accounts.

While some were brave, there were also cowards amongst them. The irony? The Captain was the largest coward of all. The captain should always be the one to abandon ship, especially on a commercial sailing. Instead, he abandoned his passengers and fled for his life.

A shame indeed.

Kid gets gangrape by janitors in the most secure school in the capital

Oh the horror. If I could, I’d find the sorry sons of bitches who did it, rape their daughters (if they have any) in front of their eyes and then blast their sorry heads with a shotgun.

Sorry, got a bit carried away there.

A kindergartner gets gangraped by janitors in one of Jakarta’s most prestigious school, the epitome of education for the rich. Even 400 CCTVs could not have stopped this heinous crime. In the face of this horrible incident, the school is facing pressure from many people and everyone’s pointing fingers, looking for someone to blame.

Could we please calm the fuck down and get back to the real issue at hand? A kid, who hasn’t even lived for a decade, was raped and what’s worse is… he got herpes. The boy has only lived for six years and now has to live with a lifetime STD. Rather than blaming the school for being lax with their employee screening, why not focus on the sleazy perpetrators? They need hard justice. After they’re dead, maybe we can go back to talking about security issues.

Walking in Jakarta, you’re always inches from death

I’m an environmentalist by choice. That means I walk everywhere, take public transport if possible, and don’t have a car… because I’m poor. On the bright side, my legs have never been stronger. But, walking around in Jakarta is a really dangerous activity.

Just a few days ago, I was walking, minding my own business, to the 7-Eleven store to buy milk. There was a traffic jam almost 300 meters long. Walking doesn’t seem to suck now, huh? Wait, there’s more.

Behind me, I heard the sound of a moped’s horn. Turns out I was only inches from death on a sidewalk, which is supposed to be a legally protected place for people to walk. The fuck? How are they allowed on the sidewalk?! Ooh yeah, because this is Indonesia, folks, where rules are just written on signs and paper, but never obeyed. Take, for example, the humble traffic light. A normal person sees red as a sign to stop, yellow to yield, and green to go. Here’s how an Indonesian sees the lights.

Red: you got three seconds to get past me OR if there’s nobody immediately passing in front of you, go OR if left turn, go.

Yellow: c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, it’s not red yet!

Green: go, motherfucker, go!

And if that’s not enough, get this: mopeds casually encroach zebra crosses, waiting for the light to turn green. How the fuck am I supposed to cross at an intersection?

I would appreciate Draconian laws governing traffic, because the knuckleheads on the road seem to only respond to drastic measures. I suggest traffic lights armed with automatic turrets that can deliver 300 rounds per minute of 7.62mm cold, hard punishment on those fuckers who disobey traffic lights. It also helps reduce the population, too, so that’s two birds with one stone.


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