It’s way past this blog’s birthday now, but since I’ve been busy doing stuff in real life, I’ll admit I’m starting to lose focus. By the way, this blog’s official birthday is 24 October.
So, it’s been three years since I started this blog. I remember sitting in my dorm room 3 years ago being bored. I just shut down my other blog (it’s still up, by the way, but abandoned). Then, I thought about writing anime reviews and other stuff related to Japanese otaku culture. And thus, after hours of tinkering and raging because of Indonesia’s horrible internet speed, on 24 October 2012, Ahotaku39 came to life. Well, the first post was on the day before, but I forgot to adjust WordPress time settings to match West Indonesia Time.
I just wanted a place to write on the Internet. A place where I could write about the things I liked, especially those related to otaku culture.
At first, I was content with writing anime reviews. I didn’t have much to do as a lazy college student besides attending classes and watching anime, so I thought it would be a great pastime. Then, I got into cosplay and became exposed to the ups and downs of community. I didn’t expect my post about cosplay in Indonesia to go viral and trigger a lot of butthurt people. Part of me was excited. My voice was being heard. And so, I looked towards other websites, like KAORI Nusantara, and began to silently learn from them.
Along the way, perhaps after a serious mental breakdown caused by a certain girl, I (re)discovered the world of Vocaloid. Miku’s synthetic voice was the music that helped me through my dark times. And that’s why I’m a huge Miku fan. It’s also the reason for the Miku-ish logo and my color scheme. I also got interested in Nendoroids and figures. Of course, Miku was my first Nendoroid. And from thereon, I also rediscovered my passion for photography.
Another milestone in these three years was my viral rant about plebs and Miku Expo. You know, I wrote that rant while waiting for a friend at a mall in Jakarta. I ordered a milk tea and sat down to use the Wi-Fi and check my blog. Then, inspiration just struck me. “Holy shit, I just have to write about Miku Expo and these fucktards who want to watch her on YouTube!” And I started typing. It was like I entered a trance. My fingers were actually synchronizing with every thought in my brain. Half an hour later, the rant was done and I just hit ‘Publish’ without thinking. My friend arrived and we watched a movie together. The next day, I was surprised to see my simple agitated rant go viral. It was also thanks to that rant that I met Jay from (ex) Deremoe and Kevin from KAORI. I felt like I finally had a voice and people recognized me for that.
And from thereon, you might know my blog because of my constant reporting of internet drama.
But this third year might not be my best year so far. I had to start work on my thesis and had little time to spare with otaku stuff. After I graduated, I thought I would write more, but being confined to a small island where the events are not as big as Jakarta and the community is much smaller, I had no juice to write. Then, I stagnated. I started posting less. I started becoming self-conscious, often censoring myself and thinking too much about how my posts will turn out. I noticed my newer posts lacked a certain degree of “oomph” that was present in my previous ones. Then came work. I just can’t seem to find time to fully indulge in otaku culture anymore and I give a very little amount of fucks to dramas that happen. Perhaps growing up and maturing wasn’t the best choice I made, but it was inevitable.
In this year, I also pondered the possibility of monetizing the blog. I wanted to get rid of the WordPress name in my domain and claim a cool domain name. But, the more I thought about it, the more I resisted. Monetizing the blog would mean that I would have to plan strategies on how to maximize traffic and get ad revenue to cover up hosting costs. I was afraid I would lose my way and become yet another click-baiter, sacrificing content quality for traffic. It would also mean I would then have to write stuff I didn’t like just to keep traffic coming. I hate hassle. I then decided to keep the free domain and focus on writing the stuff I like, whenever I want to. Besides, with a free domain, I won’t have to worry about hosting fees or DDOS attacks.
I also considered adding some friends to the blog as contributors. I tried that out, and it didn’t work well. So, I decided I would always fly solo. Flying solo meant that I didn’t have to be attributed to any other entity, guaranteeing my freedom in expressing my opinions. I also wouldn’t have to worry about conflicts of interests. So, when you read this blog, rest assured that ALL opinions are mine unless stated otherwise.
Now, for my fourth year, I’m trying to get back on my feet. Perhaps I’ll refocus on what I intended to do in the first place: just be another blogger who is enthusiastic about Japan and otaku culture, without worrying about labels people on the Internet will slap on me. I don’t care if they call me a weeb or a tryhard edgy person; I’ll just be me. Just another idiot with an opinion. I just want to do what I love most: indulging in anime, perhaps applying some social science theories into them, and voicing my opinions on issues I feel need to be discussed.
Thank you, readers, for supporting this blog so far. Despite the things I say, I love you guys (no homo, bruh) and gals and whatever special snowflake sexuality is hip and happening in the SJW-verse right now. Once again, thank you.