3 Foolproof Ways to Avoid Internet Drama: Weeb Stuff Edition

Hey-lo there fellow assholes, let’s start the year (albeit very late) with a light post. If you’ve been following my Facebook page, you would know that I’m in a shitload of work right now. But that’s okay, because I’ll be quitting soon to resume my life as a worthless motherfucking NEET.

So, I’ve been working in social media now, mostly designing shit (unfortunately not memes) and have been spending a lot of time on Facebook. Of course, I digress once in a while from advertising to keep up with my “friends” and their drama, which is always a welcome distraction from tedious work. Religion, cosplay, politics… you name it. Indonesians nowadays are so fucking easy to trigger. Just post a pic like this:


…and you got yourselves a lot of butthurt wannabe ISIS sympathizers and edgy people commenting. Or, just post a screenshot of you being cyber-molested by a random asshole you can easily block, but decide to make a big fuss of anyway. BOOM, so many white-knights and morals police come to the rescue. This is the kind of shit that evolves into prolonged discussions, threads, even mountains of blog posts (yes, I’m guilty too sometimes).

So maybe it’s time to step back and consider: do I really need to be a part of this shit? Is it essential for me to partake in such a discussion online, with strangers and people I don’t even know besides from Facebook? Thus, here I give the Ahotaku’s guide to avoiding useless internet drama and do something fucking productive with your lives.

Number 1: Do I actually give a fuck?

Before engaging in the comment war zone, always stop and hold those emotions to ask yourself this question: do I actually give a fuck about this shit? If the answer is yes, then by all means, pour your fucking heart out in a wall of text that some edgy asshole will reply with “LOL TLDR”. If the answer is no, then you just move on with your life.

It is that simple yet many people forget about it. They just let their emotions run wild and forgo all common sense. Seriously, remembering this shit will save you a lot of hours and mental energy. If you don’t give a fuck about that cutie cosplayer’s problem summarized in a bunch of screenshots about her encounter with a creepy guy (one out of 7 billion people on Earth), then she’s not worth your fucking time and energy. You don’t need to be a white knight and join in the forces on the comment war zone. She doesn’t even know you. Besides, what good does it do? It’s not like your actions directly contribute to the conclusion of the problem at hand. If you still think like this, then try going the fuck outside.

Number 2: Keep your circles small


Whoever said that having many friends has its benefits was fucking dead way before social media existed. Now, having too many people in your circle just exposes you to more stupid and needless drama. Let’s say Fat Bob shared a status update of an edgy satirical elitist page that “offends” Indonesian fansubs and commented on it. You now know this, and may have spent at least one second of your precious time on it; more if you paused to browse the comment threads. That’s a waste nonetheless. Go fucking delete Fat Bob right now and find better friends, like the ones that have the intellectual capacity to discuss the philosophical and scientific interpretations of Akane’s superbly delicious booty.

akane butt.jpg
Masha Allah, what a perfect booty.

Related to this, it would also be wise to unfollow those edgy shitposting pages who claim they’re intentionally being edgy, but are just fucking pricks. You know, the ones that claim to be “supervising weebs for the betterment of the community” and that one page that casually throws around “autism” as an insult and goes overboard with the tryhard “lol u butthurt m8” bullshit. Seriously, autism is not fucking funny.

Number 3: Get off Facebook

Facebook is not Sword Art Online. The logout button exists and it isn’t bugged. Press that, and go do something fucking useful, like writing, drawing, reading, taking a jog, masturbating, anything than waiting for that notification button to turn red and see if you managed to heroically solve all the problems that cosplayer is having. You’re wasting your precious life on shit that doesn’t directly affect you.

So those are 3 foolproof ways to be calm and achieve the Zen through avoiding Facebook drama. Seriously, if you just stop to fucking think, you won’t even need me telling you to do this shit. Until next time then!


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